Opaque Waters ArticlesGet free content for your site!

Why is it that couple counseling works really well for some couples and enables them to move on to a happy future together, while other couples seem to only unravel even quicker while they are attending these sessions? When a marriage hits a rough spot some people see therapy as the way out. They somehow think talking is going to make it all better, especially when both people really do not want to get a divorce.

Obviously, there has to be something that makes the difference between couples that eventually restore the marriage and those that simply fall apart, right?

You may assume that it is a difference in the type of problems that each couple has to overcome, but that is not the answer. Couples facing the most extreme issues can make it through counseling and find happiness together.

The difference is that couples who make it work figure out that it isn’t all about just talking out the problems. If you want to increase your chances of making your sessions really work, then consider 3 ways that seeing a therapist can really make a difference.

First, you have to be open to really listening to what your spouse has to say, even if it hurts. If you go into defensive mode and are just thinking about what to say to prove they are wrong, then you are not really listening. Stop thinking and just listen.

From your attitude it goes to your words. Speak honestly and tell your spouse your point of view, no matter what they may think or feel about it. Nothing can be worked out if the real issues are not brought to light, and no one can do that but you.

Third, you have to stop name calling and finger pointing and just get down to feelings. All the things you normally fight about are really just masks for larger underlying issues, and those issues are often emotionally based.

So, being honest without blaming and listening to your partner as they reveal their truth in the same way is the biggest hurdle that couples who make this work have to overcome. The next hurdle is taking the things you hear and turning them into real action. Both of you have to take action to make things better, as that is what ultimate fixes the problems you uncover.

For couple counseling to work in your favor you have to stop worrying about being right and protecting yourself and be vulnerable to the issues that are really hurting you. That is the only way.

I think you’ll find this article helpful too, if you did, I reckon you’ll want to read this as well:
Couple Counselling or Save Marriage or Online Marriage Counseling

If you are trying to work on problems in your relationship then couple counselling may be just what you need. It is important if you decide to go to counseling that both parties are on board. If only one person is interested in doing the counseling it will not be beneficial to the relationship.

Many couples go to counseling for different reasons. Some people go because they are having a hard time getting along with one another. Other couples go to strengthen the relationship that they already have. Sometimes people have issues from the past that they need to resolve before they can move forward with a new relationship.

There are many places to start looking for a counselor. Couples can look online for reviews of local counselors. They could also look in their local yellow pages to find a counselor. On occasion the best referrals come from family and friends.

Online review sites are a perfect place to look for a relationship counselor. There is tons of information on the internet about what has worked well for other people. You can find reviews on different websites or by doing a Google search.

Recommendations from friends can be very helpful when couples are looking for counseling services. If couples have family members that they are comfortable talking with about their decision to find a counselor the then should consider asking if they know of anyone. Often times couples will feel more comfortable got to a counselor that they know was helpful to a friend of theirs.

Those that feel uncomfortable talking about it with close friends of family might consider looking in their local phone book. In large cities there may be a lot of counselors. In small rural towns there may only be one or two counselors.

A mutual like for the counseling service is imperative for the counseling to work. If one of the parties is uncomfortable then the counseling may just be a lost cause. Couples may want to think about setting up a consultation with a few different counselors to find the best match.

When couple counselling makes one or both of the parties nervous they should try some relaxation techniques before going. This can be anything from several deep breaths to listening to some relaxing music. What is most important is that both parties feel comfortable opening up to one another.

I think this article will also be of interest to you: Couples Counselling or Stop Divorce or Christian Marriage Counseling