Does Couple Counseling Save Marriages?

Author: admin Category: Articles Tags: Couple Counseling, Couple Counselling, Couples Counseling, Couples Counselling

Friday
Feb 5, 2010

Why is it that couple counseling works really well for some couples and enables them to move on to a happy future together, while other couples seem to only unravel even quicker while they are attending these sessions? When a marriage hits a rough spot some people see therapy as the way out. They somehow think talking is going to make it all better, especially when both people really do not want to get a divorce.

Obviously, there has to be something that makes the difference between couples that eventually restore the marriage and those that simply fall apart, right?

You may assume that it is a difference in the type of problems that each couple has to overcome, but that is not the answer. Couples facing the most extreme issues can make it through counseling and find happiness together.

The difference is that couples who make it work figure out that it isn’t all about just talking out the problems. If you want to increase your chances of making your sessions really work, then consider 3 ways that seeing a therapist can really make a difference.

First, you have to be open to really listening to what your spouse has to say, even if it hurts. If you go into defensive mode and are just thinking about what to say to prove they are wrong, then you are not really listening. Stop thinking and just listen.

From your attitude it goes to your words. Speak honestly and tell your spouse your point of view, no matter what they may think or feel about it. Nothing can be worked out if the real issues are not brought to light, and no one can do that but you.

Third, you have to stop name calling and finger pointing and just get down to feelings. All the things you normally fight about are really just masks for larger underlying issues, and those issues are often emotionally based.

So, being honest without blaming and listening to your partner as they reveal their truth in the same way is the biggest hurdle that couples who make this work have to overcome. The next hurdle is taking the things you hear and turning them into real action. Both of you have to take action to make things better, as that is what ultimate fixes the problems you uncover.

For couple counseling to work in your favor you have to stop worrying about being right and protecting yourself and be vulnerable to the issues that are really hurting you. That is the only way.

I think you’ll find this article helpful too, if you did, I reckon you’ll want to read this as well:
Couple Counselling or Save Marriage or Online Marriage Counseling